Wednesday, April 22, 2009

It has found me

Crushing depression, that is. A cancellation of Friday night plans resulted in half a day of tears. I asked someone else to go out on Friday instead and have spent the time since dreading the rejection I am convinvced is coming. I was so destoyed by the original change in plans I had to turn off the computer. I couldn't look at it. Just the thought of turning it on paralyzed me with pain.

A simple change in plans should not do this to a person. It is not normal. I feel like the depression is physically pushing down on my shoulders, forcing me to sit hunched over.

The low is addictive. I hate it and want to pull away and at the same time it's grip is seductive. When I start to get out of it's grip, I miss it and want it back.

I think it's time to call the doctor.

2 comments:

  1. I must say that I'm the same way. I despise plans changing, especially last minute. But the low is addictive, and easy to settle into.
    *hugs and love*
    I am here for you at any time.

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  2. ::Big Hugs::

    Yes Ma'am. I think it is time. And just an FYI, if we lived near eachother, I would have gone out with you on Friday ;)

    ReplyDelete